Reader Empathy and Communicating Emotion

As it's turning out, there is one book each semester of Craft from which I learn what not to do. Reading CF's post, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who had issues with Williams' depthless memoir. Williams definitely tried to tap us into the deepest, most tender pulp of emotion - isn't that what we all want to do? It is what we want to achieve when we write, isn't it? Then where did Williams fall flat - and how can I avoid those shortcomings?

There is one thing I've identified in books that always leaves me wanting more - and leaves me feeling like an asshole for being skeptical about. That thing is an assumed empathy. An author presents me with a case of emotional depth or complexity that banks on my automatic empathy; most of the time, this is the case with parents or cancer. Because it's assumed everyone's heartstrings vibrate on the same sentimental frequency when it comes to certain emotional topics, an author might not put in any work to get me there. Williams did this with her mother; right off the bat, she's going full speed ahead about her intense feelings of attachment and devotion and blah blah blah for her mother, never giving me any scene or context to get a sense of why that relationship was so intense. Why should I care? Williams seems to assume that I care because it is a mother-child bond, which is inherently magical, or so I've heard.

Okay. Now, what if I had a horrible relationship with my mother? What if I had no relationship with my mother? What if I had no mother? How do I relate to this soul-wrenching bond? How do I understand it? This is not to say that I need to relate to every single thing I read. I don't need to have been a druggie to feel/care about Yuknavitch's journey. I don't need to have been a child immigrant to feel/care about Grande's journey. But what they both did - and Williams didn't - was take the time to illustrate why they, as narrators and characters, cared, and in doing so, took me by the hand and led me to caring myself. 

I'm sorry. Maybe it's cold, but my empathy is hard-won. You can't assume it, or take it for granted. You have to earn it, and take the time in your writing to make sure I feel that emotion.